I mean it's funny

Diary / I mean it's funny

You know how it is, you drive for what seems like forever and end up in a soulless hotel room.

I can't cope with it, my life on the road is getting to me. There's nothing on TV and the wi-fi's too slow for a movie but it can just about cope with a little surfing. Feeling bored, frustrated and horny, I think about my equally horny wife who is probably masturbating right now or worse - I don't like to think about that.

My fingers drift across the keyboard and without trying, a site for local escorts appears on the screen. No harm in a little window-shopping, I think to myself.

OMG, I spot a local girl who is my wildest wet dream. Janice, she calls herself, and that's a great name when most of them are Lola or Cindy. Janice, it is then.

Guiltily I phone the number - jeez, her American accent takes me by surprise, but it has that twang that has my cock leaping in anticipation.

"7.30?"

"Perfect," I say, and start to tidy the room and make it worthy for this goddess.

Bang on 7.30 I hear a knock at the door. I open it and in steps my dream-girl. She's young, she's stunningly pretty, confident and her dress appears to hide a perfect body.

"Come in," I say, rather unnecessarily, and she strides into the room as if it's her room reservation and not mine. I point to the envelope and she slips it into her purse, clearly having assessed me as an honourable man.

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Stepping over to me, she takes control, one of my garments to one of hers. My shirt, her dress - you get the picture. At the point when she drops her knickers, I let out a gasp; oh wow, she has the most beautiful shaved pussy, glistening in the hotel room's light. Forgetting the formalities, we hurriedly strip off the rest of our clothes and at last, I can see the most beautiful pair of breasts my eyes have ever had the good fortune to gaze upon.

I feel an ache in my groin - the response to Janice's beauty and body has taken over my soul - I am hers.

Turning around, she presses her back into me, and my aching erection is welcomed into the gap between her arse cheeks. I put my arms around her and pull her in close and I hear a gentle sigh of pleasure from her. This is heaven.

I twist her round and push her gently onto the bed. She stares at me in a totally mesmerising way and for a moment I'm lost in their magic. But only for a moment.

I sink to my knees as she opens her legs, spread over the edge of the bed. I lower myself into the perfection that is her wet, shaved pussy and lap at the copious nectar that flows in anticipation from her. Licking around her vulva, I focus at last on her very visible clitoris. Swirling it around with my tongue, I feel her building up to a crescendo and finally, grabbing my head and forcing it into her sex, she climaxes, flooding me with her ejaculation.

Ordinarily, that would have been enough for me; satisfying a goddess to that degree is reward enough. But Janice isn't ordinary; she had been paid after all.

It's as if she has known me forever. She flips over onto her tummy and her glorious ass presents itself to me as if I had just been presented with an Oscar. Well, fuck the Oscar, this is so much better.

My aching cock hovers for a millisecond, deciding which of the two offerings I should go for, but not wanting to risk the wrong response, I head for her pussy and with one easy thrust, I am deep inside this babe to end all babes.

My wife forgotten, I start to pump and judging by the noises Janice makes, I am not alone in finding this one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. She is tight, and the sensations I am feeling are beyond anything before. Mentally I start singing Christmas carols to try and delay the inevitable, but fuck that, this is too good to miss.

I speed up and just when I think I'm ready to blow, she deliciously groans, "yes, now", and I come hard, filling that pussy with my hot cum as she shrieks in her own delicious orgasm and I can feel the contractions of her orgasm milking me of every last drop. No faker this one.

We collapse in a heap.

"I shouldn't charge you for that," Janice croaks, "but you've already paid. How about two for the price of one, but this time you take me up the arse."

"Give me a few minutes," I grunt, "but that's a deal."

And who wouldn't? With an arse like that, I'd have paid triple.

Our pleasure complete, we both fall asleep, my mind in turmoil, conflicted between the overwhelming sensations of fucking this gorgeous girl, and thoughts of my wife, at home alone - or is she?

I wake with a jolt and realise that my cock is hard, and I am lying in bed with it once again pressed between the arse cheeks of a girl who sleeps beside me. I'm confused but gradually become aware that this is Janice, my dream-girl, and the one who offered her most private of parts to me before we fell asleep.

Very gently, I start to move my hips, allowing my aching cock to rub between the glorious globes of Janice's perfect bottom. She doesn't stir, until I let out a groan, the sensations almost too much for me.

"Ready to fulfil my offer?" she says, pushing herself back against me, and rather foolishly I nod in reply. She giggles.

Opportunity only knocks a few times in one's life and this is one opportunity not to be missed.

I lean over to my suitcase on the chair by the bed and reach for the lube that lives there for when my wife and I have a weekend break.

Slathering the lube over my cock and then working my finger around her perfect puckered back door, I gently slip my finger inside and start to move it gently in and out.

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Janice is silent, other than a rather perfect sound of her heavy breathing as she gets used to my finger. She likes this. I like this. What is it with bottoms?

After a few minutes of this gentle work, I change to my thumb to increase the pressure - her breathing reacts just as I'd hoped and extends to a groan - my cock feels even harder than it did before, in response to these erotic noises.

Taking away my thumb, followed by a whine of complaint from Janice, I move my cock to her rear entrance. Slowly, oh so slowly, I press myself against her until that magical moment when her unwilling resistance gives way to delighted acceptance and the head of my cock slips seamlessly into her anal passage. I gasp. She gasps.

Inch by inch, I introduce more of myself into the bum that is more perfect than any I have seen, either in life or on the web. I'm in heaven. We both groan in unison as I start to move in and out, the sensations all along the length of me off the scale.

They say that the anus has more nerve endings than the vagina, and if I compare the noises made by Janice when I fucked her pussy compared to what we are doing now, that has to be right. Any wildlife programme on TV would struggle to produce the sounds of rutting that echoed around the walls of that hotel room.

I reach around her, and holding a breast in each hand, I pinch her nipples while increasing the speed of my thrusting deep in her back passage.

The sensation in her nipples clearly has the desired effect and I can feel and hear the tension building as she approaches her orgasm.

Building the speed of my thrusts, even more, I too am approaching that pinnacle, the point at which, even if my entire family walks into the room, I wouldn't be able, or indeed want to stop.

With one final deep, deep thrust, and holding Janice so tight to my body that I don't know how she can breathe, I start to pump that most delicious of dark places full of my cum, just as she lets out a yell, and I feel the pulsations of her orgasm adding to what I thought was as good as it could get. No, it's better, much better.

As I start to shrink, I pull out and Janice rolls onto her tummy with another adorable giggle. "Wow, that was just ..." she says as I hold her ass cheeks apart and watch as my cum oozes out of her backside, over her pussy, so recently fucked itself, and onto the bedsheets.

Without a doubt, this has been the best investment of time and money in my life. My mission now is to persuade my wife to embrace the joys of anal sex, so that I can look on this evening as training, and not as infidelity.

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